Stay in Control of Your Story…
A Letter From A Therapist: Issue 20
One of the main hesitancies people experience when considering therapy is related to the fear of unveiling their very distressing and severely intense memories. For many, the idea of divulging their entire life story feels overwhelming, embarrassing, or even impossible. These are the situations where EMDR offers a unique approach to therapeutic healing. When traditional talk therapy relies on communication and verbal dialogue, EMDR relies on tapping into the brain’s adaptive processing system - a system in which natural healing occurs when there is safety and security.
Traumas that are experienced are not stored in a clean and organized memory, but rather they can be fragmented between images, bodily sensations, emotions, and beliefs about oneself. EMDR directly targets each of these internal experiences which reduces the need for verbal details. The human experience is quite fascinating in that two people can live through the same event though carry vastly different emotional impacts. EMDR focuses on the meaning that one’s brain attached to distressing experiences. During some trauma-oriented treatments, clients are asked to describe their memory repeatedly. Fortunately, EMDR does not require this, nor is it a form of exposure therapy. The EMDR process entails revisiting the memory just enough to active the brain’s processing system. Clients stay in control and guide their process internally while the therapist guides the treatment structure. This is why EMDR can be effective for those who’s memories are incomplete, vague, or missing completely; as renowned psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk stated, “the body keeps the score”. Our nervous systems hold memories even when our cognitive minds don’t.
To effectively guide EMDR treatment, your therapist will need to understand your felt emotions, the negative beliefs about yourself that are present, and how your body has stored your distress. Now if that seems expansive and overwhelming to consider, that’s where therapeutic rapport comes into play. Your therapist’s job is to create a safe environment to assist with this healing work. They can help guide the building of trust and confidentiality needed throughout the entirety of your process.
So if you are someone who has avoided therapy because disclosing your story and experiences feels too painful, know that relief is available with EMDR. With this approach, you are in control and your privacy surrounding your past is respected. It’s time to consider what life after healing can feel like.
Best Regards,
Amanda J. Nowak, LPC. LMHC
November 23, 2025
